some thoughts about life [for lack of a better title]

Disclaimer: The format of this post could cause eye strain, maybe even dizziness or vomiting. I apologize in advance for the eyeball work-out you will receive. Please forgive me for being so indulgent!

I.

When I finally meet my future-babies, I don't want to tell them about things I wanted to do but never did. I don't want to tell them about dreams deferred, about writing as a hobby--a foolish dream I entertained when I was young--and about the life I wish I had lived.

I want to tell them I lived.

And when I meet God, I want Him to be excited about the life I've lived. I want Him to ask me to retell certain parts over coffee and cupcakes [even though He knows all the details] as we sit on the porch of my house in heaven.

II.

God gives us this one life to do so many things: create.

                                                              inspire.

                                                    imagine.

                                dream [BIG!].

                 know Him.
                                                                                        
                                 play.

                                       discover.

                                                  LOVE.

                                                           wonder.

I don't want to waste this precious [fleeting] opportunity to live.

I don't want to meet Him at the end of all things

                                                                       for the first time.

I don't want that for anyone in my life.

This life of mine--what do I want it to look like? Now is the time to ask

What does God want it to look like?

I believe He wants me to be content

      with His tremendous blessings

             with circumstances beyond my control

                     [because He is at work even if I can't see/feel it.]

I believe He wants me to learn to love

       with no agenda [on His terms, not mine]

            love people where they're at

                  [even if they're there for the rest of their lives]

                         with steadfast patience and diligence

                   like it's my job

                         [because it is]

I believe He wants me to know Him intimately

                                                        so I can know His heart.

I believe He wants me to CREATE

        friendships and live a good story.

[Thanks, Don Miller, for putting it in perspective and in words I could understand].

I believe He wants me to INSPIRE

        with LOVE and JOY and PEACE and
       
               PATIENCE and KINDNESS and GOODNESS and

                      GENTLENESS and FAITH [Galatians 5: 22-23]

[Will I ever truly understand the weight of these things?]

I believe He wants me to BELIEVE in His true nature

              

       because if I did,

             

            I would trust myself and the [limited] things I learned

                from school and Google and Wikipedia

                     less;

        because if I did,

        I would believe that He is GOOD.

        I would believe His promises,

        His hope and unfathomable love for this broken little planet and its

          lost, broken, beautiful people.

I believe He wants me to pray without ceasing,

     which will take some work since the only thing I'm really good at doing

         without ceasing is

            complaining about things that don't really matter.

                   and procrastinating.

I believe He wants me to pluck out my eyeballs and give them a rest

       because my eyes still err on the side of judgment

             instead of compassion.

I believe He has a plan for my life

     that could amount to me becoming

            a woman after His own heart.

                  Everything else would be details for the story.

I believe He wants me to worry less

       about buying our first home

               and having healthy babies

                      and regrets about the past because

                              HE. LOVES. ME.

I believe He can change people I thought never would or could change.

      He just might not change them the way I think He should.

              After all, He is changing me.

                             

III.

And I believe that's what He's doing now because many people I talk to are having the same conversations. I take comfort knowing I'm not alone, knowing that it's not too late to get to know Jesus and God as a grown-up.